For Want Of A Username
by Ender The Time Lady
Summary: Karkat attempts to change his TrollTube name. Chaos ensues. Karkat is pissed, Sollux is awesome, Aradia is apathetic, and Gamzee is Gamzee. T for Karkat and Gamzee's... colourful vernacular.


You open up your laptop, and pull up TrollTube. You open up your account, and hit the necessary buttons to change your username.

For on this day of extreme badassery, you are going to actually get around to changing your TrollTube name to Karkat Vantas, instead of just calling yourself Nubbyhorns23.

You aren't really sure what you were thinking when you made the account. You had been rather tired at the time.

_Username:_ Karkat Vantas _is taken._

What.

The.

Fuck.

You are pissed. You are beyond your usual state of pissed-offedness. You are seriously, royaly,_ pissed._ In a "Kill someone with a rusty spork" sort of way. Not a Kissimestitude. Just pissynesss. I mean, some freak was pretending to be you, and now you can'teven use your own name on Trolltube- oh sweet cod, there was someone impersonating you. There was someone impersonating you. _There was some fucker pretending to be you right now._

If that doesn't make a troll paraniod, then nothing else will.

You sigh angrily, before switching programs to Trollian.

**PESTERLOG**

_**carnicoGenescist began trolling terminallyCapricious at 2:07 AM**_

CG: HEY.

CG: GAMZEE.

CG: YOU THERE DUDE?

CG: FUCKING SAY SOMETHING.

TC: sUp My MoThErFuCkInG bRoThEr.

CG: WHATS YOUR TROLLTUBE NAME?

TC: ePiC jUgGaLlO13

TC: wHy

CG: DON'T FUCKING ASK QUESTIONS.

CG: HAVE YOU EVER TRIED TO USE YOUR ACTUAL NAME?

TC: yEaH

TC: oNcE

TC: bUt GaMzEe MaKaRa WaS tAkEn AlReAdY.

CG: COD FUCKING DAMN.

TC: cOd? YoUvE bEeN tAlKiNg To FeFrI tOo MuCh.

CG: FUCK YOU.

_**carnicoGenescist ceased trolling terminallyCapricious at 2:13 AM**_

This is suspicious. Both you and Gamzee are being impersonated.

Someones going to die painfully.

It will probably involve sporks.

Still, best find out just how many of your friends are having the same coddamn issue.

**PESTERLOG**

_**CarnicoGenescist began trolling twinArmageddons at 2:15 AM**_

CG: HEY

CG: SOLLUX

TA: what do you want

CG: UGH, FINALLY.

CG: WHAT'S YOUR TROLLTUBE NAME?

TA: uh

TA: why do you care

CG: SHUT UP AND ANSWER.

TA: iit ii2 2eriiou2ly none of your bui22ne22

CG: OH MY COD

CG: I FUCKING HATE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW.

CG: JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION FUCKASS.

TA: fiine

TA: my trolltube name ii2 epichackercaptor

CG: EPICHACKERCAPTOR?

TA: epichackercaptor

CG: THAT IS SO FREAKING RETARDED.

TA: 2hut up

TA: ii wa2 goiing two make iit my actual name

TA: but 2ollux captor was taken.

CG: THE PLOT THICKENS.

TA: what

_**CarnicoGenescist ceased trolling twinArmageddons at 2:19 AM**_

Right, that is probably the awesomest TrollTube name you have ever heard. Not that you'll ever admit it, but still. Epichackercaptor.

Epic.

Hacker.

Captor.

Brilliant, just brilliant.

You will never speak of this again.

But still, his actual name was being taken. That is a worrisome fact. Then again, Gamzee, Sollux and yourself are probably the only trolls worth impersonating on Alternia. The only thing to do now is to check with someone that everybody hates, that nobody with a functioning thinkpan would ever want to impersonate. The troll that will never fill a quadrant (or a bucket).

Eridan.

Fucking.

Ampora.

Cod, you hate your life.

**PESTERLOG**

_**CarnicoGenescist began trolling caliguousAquarium at 2:21 AM**_

CG: HEY

CG: ASSHOLE

CG: FISHBREATH

CA: wwhat do you wwant lowwblood

CA: or wwhatevver your blood colour is

CG: FUCK YOU

CG: I WAS JUST WONDERING

CG: WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR TROLLTUBE NAME

CA: ah, interested in my wwork?

CA: i'vve made sevveral vvideos detailing my incredible skills

CG: I DON'T FUCKING CARE

CG: JUST TELL ME YOUR FUCKING NAME

CA: fin

CA: my trolltube name is fishprince23

CA: i wwould havve used my actual name

CA: but eridan ampora was taken

CG: ALL I NEEDED TO KNOW

CG: LATER BULGE HEAD

CA: that wwas loww

_**CarnicoGenescist ceased trolling caliguousAquarium at 2:25 AM**_

Cod you hate talking to him! Not is a kissemis way. Just in a plain old hate sort of way. At least he doesn't know your blood colour. If he found out, that prick would never stop bitching about your mutant blood, and how it made him superior. Friggen douchebag ocean-prince.

But still, this is a worrying fact. Even finface is being impersonated.

Wait, maybe it's a matter of blood caste? Gamzee and Ampora both rank up at the very top, and you and Sollux are both just that freaking awesome that trolls might want to pretend to be you. Only one thing left to do. Check on lowest blood, apart from yours. And by that you mean Aradia.

**PESTERLOG**

_**CarnicoGenescist began trolling apocalypseAsiren at 2:31 AM**_

CG: HEY ARADIA

AA: hell0 karkat.

AA: h0w are y0u

CG: PISSED-OFF

AA: as always

CG: FUCK YOU

CG: WHATS YOUR TROLLTUBE NAME

CG: IF YOU EVEN HAVE ONE

AA: yes i have a tr0lltube acc0unt

AA: my username is ramses89

AA: i tried to make it aradia medig0

AA: but it was taken

AA: im 0kay with that

CG: HOLY FUCKING SHIT ARADIA

CG:YOU'RE OKAY WITH ABSOLUTELY FUCKING EVERYTHING

_**CarnicoGenescist ceased trolling apocalypseAsiren at 2:33 AM**_

So, it's not a matter of blood castes, or sheer awesomeness. Maybe they were all just being impersonated blindly? But who would want to do that? You really aren't sure who could be so bored as to have nothing better to do then impersonate a bunch of troll kids, and- Nepeta.

It's probably Nepeta.

**PESTERLOG**

_**CarnicoGenescist began trolling arsenicCatnip is 2:37 AM**_

CG: SUP NEPETA

AC: :33 *ac saunters from her dark cave, sl33py from her recent kill*

CG: NO. FUCK NO. THERE IS TO BE NO ROLEPLAYING UP IN THIS BITCH.

CG: NONE. AT ALL.

AC: :33 oh fine karkitty.

AC: :33 your no fun

CG: I SWEAR TO COD

CG: IF YOUCALL ME KARKITTY ONE MORE TIME

CG: MY SHIT WILL BE FLIPPED

CG: MY SHIT WILL DO A FUCKING TRIPLE BACKFLIP

CG: WIN A CODDAMN MEDAL

CG: AND THEN LAND ON YOUR BODY

CG: BECAUSE I WILL HAVE BRUTALLY MURDERED YOU

AC: :33 so anyways

AC: :33 what do you want from me on this pawsome day

CG: THAT PUN WAS HORRIBLE

AC: :33 not my best work

CG: HOW MANY TROLLTUBE ACCOUNTS DO YOU HAVE?

AC: :33 twelve

AC: :33 one fur each of us

CG: HOLY SHIT

CG: YOU REALLY ARE IMPERSONATING US ON TROLLTUBE

AC: :33 this suprises you how

CG: TOUCHE

CG: WILL DEMANDING YOU TO CUT IT THE FUCK OUT HAVE ANY EFFECT?

AC: :33 nope!

CG: DIDN'T THNK SO

CG: IM GOING TO GO FORGET THIS EVER HAPPENED

CG: LATERS

CG: YOU SCARY FUCKING CAT

AC: :33

_**CarnicoGenescist ceased trolling arsenicCatnip is 2:48 AM**_


End file.
